Striking a healthy balance with screen time is a challenge for most families in the digital age we live in. Many of us have dealt with the common struggles related to technology and children, such as post screen time behavior issues and overstimulation. If you are reading this, chances are you have experienced guilt over the amount of screen time you have allowed your kids to have OR the devices you have prohibited them from using.
Maybe all the other kids in your child’s class play a certain video game that you don’t allow in your home or maybe you are the mom who needs your preschooler to watch a show in order to get dinner on the table. Wherever you land on the screen time spectrum, you are in good company.
There are so many factors that play a role in the amount of screen time our kids get. Today we are going to explore several of them while also discussing ideas for how to minimize screen time in the midst of our individual situations.
Screen Time For Kids Is Different For Each Family
Each family has their own unique dynamic and circumstances. The ages of your children and type of family culture you have at home will have an impact on what kind of screen time rules you set for your kids.
You may decide to restrict time online completely for your toddlers and preschoolers, limit screen time for elementary schoolers to just a couple days a week, but allow your middle schoolers and teens to have more exposure to technology.
You know each of your children best. You have observed firsthand how they respond to screen time. You are the only one who knows when it has gotten out of balance and needs to be reined in and when it could be a beneficial bonding experience.
Other Caregivers With Differing Viewpoints On Tech
The amount of childcare your children receive and the influence other caregivers have on your children will play a role in how often they are exposed to electronic devices. You may decide to limit screen time at home because you know that your kids get a couple hours of it at daycare or with their babysitter while you are at work.
If you are paying someone to care for your child, you have the right to make your preferences known or take your business elsewhere. If you are uncomfortable with screen time at daycare, ask your child’s caregiver to have your child do hands-on activities instead of leaning on technology. Provide puzzles, play dough, coloring books, Legos, Lincoln Logs, and other age appropriate alternatives for your child’s babysitter to use with your child in place of screen time.
Perhaps your kids spend a couple days a week at their grandparent’s home and they receive a lot of time on tech over there. Or maybe you have a spouse who does not see the big deal about screen time for kids and allows more TV than you would prefer. Here are a couple of blog posts that can help you to decrease screen time for your kid if you find other caregivers overdoing it:
Co-Parenting and Screen Time
Maybe you are in a co-parenting situation where the communication and tech time boundaries are less than ideal. This will have an impact on your child’s time on technology. Perhaps your kids spend the weekends or every other week at their other parent’s home and you are not in agreement on how much screen time should be allowed.
This is a very common and frustrating position to be in, but you are still in control of the amount of time your kids spend in front of a screen when they are with you in your home. Use that time to foster connection with your child. Make a low-tech life appealing by hanging out with your kids without your smartphone. Read to your child, take walks with your child, and learn new skills together such as knitting, karate, or baking from scratch. Show your child that you enjoy hanging out with them more than scrolling on social media by keeping your own tech out of sight. Simply setting this example will go a long way in building up your child’s appetite for human connection over vegging out on a screen.
Also, when your child is at your home, encourage screen free activities. When a child is given the time to play without the distraction of alluring technology, they learn how to entertain themselves, overcome boredom, and think creatively.
Seasons And Time In Front Of Screens
Even the season and weather can play a part in how much tech time you choose to allow. When it is warm outside, there is so much opportunity for outdoor play. You may decide to grill food each evening and enjoy leisurely dinners in your backyard with your kids. You may enjoy iced tea on your porch while your children zip up and down the sidewalk on their scooters for hours. Your kids might hardly ask for television or video games during the summer and fall.
In the winter, when it is cold and it gets dark earlier, many parents hear screen time requests from their children a lot more frequently. Some families decide to incorporate a family movie night into their weekend evenings during cold and flu season when they are spending many extra hours indoors.
Winter Movie Nights and The Influence of a Low-Tech Father
When I was a child, I spent hours outdoors riding my bike and making up imaginary scenarios. In my spare time, I would write hundred-page stories just for fun. I knew how to play creatively without technology but my parents did not keep me entirely screen free. I didn’t have a video game console, a smartphone, or cable television, but I had the opportunity to watch shows and movies with my dad.
Most of my memories of my dad growing up do not involve a screen. If the weather was nice, he was outside in his garden, mowing our lawn, tinkering with his tools, or building something with his hands. When he had downtime, he was usually strumming his guitar. He did all kinds of engaging things with me. We rode bikes together, wrote songs together, and simply did life together. I have fond memories of the places he took me—the library, the park, the guitar store, the second hand instrument shop, the pit beef stand, the ice cream shop, and my grandmother’s house.
We had a lot of fun together without technology, but during cold winter evenings when I was a teen I remember watching TV shows with my dad. We ate together, laughed together, and enjoyed the shows as a communal experience. The shows we watched together back then are still my favorites today.
There is a huge difference between every member of the family isolating with their own separate device versus a family coming together to bond over a movie or TV show. Consider making screen time a limited and shared experience during the winter.
Our children don’t play video games, tablet games, or iPad games. They don’t scroll online, participate in social media, have smartphones, or watch television every day. The main screen time we currently incorporate into our family is in the form of winter movie nights as a group. The movies we choose are typically based off of books we have first read together, but not always.
Just like when I was a child, we make an event of our time watching a movie together. We pop popcorn, purchase movie candy, grab cozy blankets, and invite Pop Pop over. We snuggle up, laugh out loud, and compare the theatrical and book versions of the story we consume. The point of our winter weekend movie nights is to make special memories and bring us closer together as a family, not drive us apart to separate corners of the home into our own virtual worlds.
So far in my motherhood, I have found that screen time for kids is best when used moderately and as a tool to foster connection or enhance education rather than a mode of mindless entertainment.
Grab my free screen free family bingo challenge here!
More Screen Time For Kids Factors
Screen Time At School
Another factor that affects technology usage is the type of education a child receives. Kids in public and traditional private schools may receive a couple of hours of screen time throughout their day. Parents who homeschool have more freedom in this area.
On one hand, homeschooling parents could choose to incorporate a lot of screen time to aid them in the education of their children. They could purchase online courses for their child, incorporate historical documentaries into their days, and outsource math to a self-paced program on the computer.
On the other hand, homeschooling parents could also choose to exclude tech from their child’s days, especially in the early years. Instead, they could rely on books, educational materials, hands-on learning, time outdoors, in-person tutors, interactive co-op programs, and real world field trips to fill their kid’s days.
When considering the amount of screen time you are comfortable with your child having, evaluate your educational choices. If your child attends a traditional school, don’t be afraid to request paper assignments and physical books rather than virtual projects. Pen and paper worked just fine for hundreds of years. Look around and assess for yourself whether kids today seem to be academically excelling or struggling more than ever with the increase of tech in schools. Be gracious to teachers but vocal about your preferences for your child.
If you are interested in learning more about the negative affect screen time has had on schooling, check out the book Screen Schooled. It is a must read for any parent who has children in a public school setting today.
Small Versus Large Families
Your family size may also impact your screen time choices. Some parents may find it challenging to fill the hours they have with their only child. They might decide to allow their kid to have an hour of TV time each day. While parents with many children may notice that their kids entertain one another through imaginative play very well.
Parents who have a wide range of ages under their roof might adjust their screen time rules per child to whatever is most appropriate at each stage of development. Other families might decide a uniform tech rule for the whole crew works best to promote fairness and eliminate sibling squabbles.
The size of your family does not have to influence the amount of technology you do or don’t use in your home, but sometimes it does. I have personally found that the more children we have had, the easier life without screens has become. My kids have built in best friends and playmates in one another. They are constantly coming up with inventive games and new backyard adventures as a team.
Technology and Kids With Special Needs
The types of medical needs a child has can also determine how much screen time a parent allows. When your child is spending lots of time in the car to and from doctor appointments, sitting in waiting rooms for hours, and undergoing frequent procedures or therapies each week, you may choose to utilize screens to pass some of that time.
One way that you could use technology to your advantage as a parent of a child with special needs is by investing in a collection of children’s audiobooks. Audiobooks are an excellent screen time alternative to pass the time while also engaging the mind of your child, inspiring their imagination, widening their vocabulary, and allowing them to walk a mile in a unique character’s shoes.
While streaming hours of cartoons may encourage passivity in a child, listening to books read aloud encourages creativity. Apps and fast paced games on electronic devices often leave children overstimulated while stories give kids lots of food for thought to chew on throughout their day. Stories can also be a great source of delight amid difficult medical circumstances.
Here’s a post I wrote with the best audiobooks for kids:
Family Habits Affect Screen Time For Kids
Family habits are also going to affect the amount of screen time a child receives. Is your family in the habit of taking their meals to separate corners of the home so that everyone can consume their favorite TV show or podcast on a different device? Or, in contrast, is your family committed to screen free dinners around the dining room table every evening? Do you press through the chaos and make a point to cultivate an environment where your kids want to share about their day and chat?
Are you a sporty family who spends several days a week on the ball field? This type of lifestyle will naturally help you limit screen time. If you are busy out of the house and your kids are active in youth sports, they are less likely to be sitting at home scrolling on electronic devices. However, you may also want to consider how your kids tend to relax once they do get home from sports. Excessive busyness can lead to families feeling burnt out and wanting to retreat to their own devices when they finally have downtime.
Is your family home a lot? This can be a determining factor in how much time your kids spend in front of a screen. On one hand, boredom can lead to lots of time on tech. But on the other hand, a family of homebodies can commit to a low-tech lifestyle and invest in their family culture big time. This is what we have chosen to do.
In our home, we do a lot of reading. Our kids read independently, they read to one another, and they listen to audiobooks. I read out loud to our crew over breakfast and midday. My husband sometimes reads out loud to the kids after dinner. This family habit of reading has saved us from hours of aimless scrolling online or watching too much TV.
We are also a family of crafters. We have worked toward making our home a place of creating rather than consuming. On any given evening, you will find someone knitting, drawing, making a leather notebook at the dining room table, whittling, editing a story they wrote, coming up with a new tune on the piano or guitar, woodworking, baking, or making jewelry.
The family habits we establish are going to have a major influence over our children and how they choose to spend their time over the years. When boredom strikes, will they look to screens for entertainment or will they turn to a healthy hobby?
Limiting Screen Time Is Possible
Because of all of these fluctuating factors, screen time rules for kids are not going to come in a one size fits all formula that can work universally for every family. But regardless of the situation you find yourself in, it is possible to reduce screen time for your children and reap the benefits of a low-tech lifestyle. You may not want to or be able to eliminate all tech due to your own distinct circumstances, but you can work toward healthy limits for your child and your family as a whole.
The best place to begin when trying to forge a new path toward healthy screen time limits is a digital detox. Check out my step by step guide on how we take a 3-4 month break from screens every year here:
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