7 years ago, my husband and I realized that devices were taking over our lives. We were on the brink of raising technology kids who felt more comfortable staring at screens than gazing at sunsets.
We knew something had to give or we were going to forfeit the gift of time we had been given with our family. So, together, we chose to make a very countercultural move.
My husband and I got rid of our smart TV, deleted all of our social media accounts, traded our smartphones for flip phones, and vowed never to purchase our children their own personal tablets while they were in the crucial developing years of early childhood.
7 years later I can honestly say these were some of the best decisions we ever made for our family. Parents should limit screen time for themselves and their children at all costs.
The initial inconveniences that came along with reducing screen time for our family have paled in comparison to the long term benefits we have experienced.
Though it might seem daunting from the outside looking in, a low tech lifestyle is entirely possible in this modern world. There are so many screen time alternatives that children can enjoy.
Don’t mishear me. We don’t believe that devices are evil. We still have no tv, no social media, and I still use a “dumbphone” however, my husband has gone back to a smartphone to make things easier at his new job.
Technology has made many good things possible. It helps us to generate income, communicate with out of state relatives, learn new skills from our living room, take cool pictures, and have groceries delivered to our doorstep.
I am grateful for the role technology plays in our modern world but I am also keenly aware of the problems it can cause when our screen time gets out of balance.
Why Should Parents Limit Screen Time
Parents should limit screen time because of the many negative side effects that come from high tech usage, especially during the little years. Most of us have seen firsthand how excessive screen time promotes behavioral issues, tantrums, and irritability in children.
Kids who spend a lot of time on devices have problems turning off the screen and transferring to the next activity. When children spend most of their free time on screens, they are naturally less physically active, less creative, and less equipped with life skills.
Think of all of things children are not doing when they are captivated by a device.
While kids are on screens they are not…
- Climbing trees
- Riding bikes
- Building forts
- Playing sports
- Running and jumping
- Engaging with nature
- Bonding with their family
- Reading great books
- Talking to humans in-person
- Playing with their pets
- Playing an instrument
- Swinging on a swing set
When kids are busy with devices they are not…
- Writing pen pal letters
- Dreaming up stories
- Drawing pictures
- Building with Legos
- Knitting with yarn
- Talking to their parents
- Playing with their siblings
- Working out real life problems
- Tending their garden
- Doing chores
- Helping their parent cook dinner
- Exploring outside
In our family, I noticed that too much tech perpetuated boredom and messed with my kids’ imaginations. After watching TV, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. They didn’t last in creative, unstructured play for very long. This was frustrating to me as a stay at home mom.
I fell into the habit of putting on shows to occupy my kids so that I could “get things done.” But all this seemed to do was create in them an appetite for an endless stream of entertainment.
The simple things in life lost their luster and free play was a challenge.
The more days we go without screens, the more I have seen my children thrive in imaginative play. Their creativity is at an all-time high. They know how to solve problems and make their own fun.
Once I removed the grip screen time had on my children, they relearned how to do the good and simple work of being kids.
Screen time is no longer stealing the beauty of simplicity from our everyday life. Tech is in its proper place as a tool, not a master.
Another negative effect of screen time is that too much of it drives a wedge between the family unit. Though technology promises us ease of connection, device dependency causes most people to become disconnected from the ones we love most.
These are the good old days. The very moments you are living right now with your children. Don’t trade them for time spent scrolling.
Video games, educational apps, tablet games, fast paced shows, and social media were strategically engineered to captivate us. Think of the many little things we miss out on when our eyes are transfixed on a screen at home and in public…
- Conversations with our spouse and children
- Body language that reveals how others are truly feeling
- The awareness that our loved ones could use eye contact, a smile, and a long hug
- The chance to talk to our neighbors as we get our mail and mow our lawns
- The opportunity to brighten the day of a cashier who serves us in the checkout line
- The chance to laugh from the pit of our bellies over the small humors of life
- The ability to live a slow paced life and truly rest instead of overstimulate our tired minds with a screen
- The breathtaking view of a storm or a sunset
- A squirrel nibbling on a nut in the front yard
- A bird taking a bath in a rain puddle
- A rabbit rusting in our garden
When we give our attention to screens, we miss out on the simple joys of life.
I have seen myself become easily frustrated, less engaged with my family, less attuned to the needs in my community, and full of brain fog after excessive device use.
We’ve all seen the technology kids of this generation become dysregulated and irritable when their parents’ cut off device time in public. It seems that the majority of families at restaurants have lost the basic skills required to fellowship over a good meal together. From the grandparents down to the toddler, everyone has a device to scroll on while they wait for their meal to be delivered.
While technology definitely has its place in the 21st century and can be a great servant, it makes a horrible master.
In our family, we don’t have a hard and fast rule that our children can never use screens of any kind. We don’t shield their eyes and run for cover when we visit a home where the TV is kept on. That would be absurd.
We do the best we can, most of the time, with the convictions we have against overusing tech.
How We Do Screen Time for 4 Young Kids As a Low-Tech Family
We have screen time boundaries that have helped us to maintain rich family relationships, promote healthy development in our young children, and reach our goals.
For us, this means that screen time is not a given. It is not a daily or even weekly option for our kids.
Sometimes we do a fully screen free season like our screen free summers. Other times, we use tech as a tool.
Once in a while, we watch a cooking video together and get inspiration for new recipes. Sometimes we watch art tutorials and learn how to draw something new.
During seasons of crisis, illness, and exhaustion, we use a laptop to play old school shows for our kids that are not fast paced or overstimulating.
There have been times in my motherhood when I have allowed way too much TV and paid the price for that in my kids behavior. And there have been other times when we’ve gone several months without anyone asking for a show at all.
My husband and I have chosen not to allow video games, educational apps, or tablet games during our kid’s critical developing years. For the most part, we avoid fast paced, overstimulating cartoons and modern movies.
The amount of children’s programming we have allowed into our home over the years has ebbed and flowed based on the seasons. But we have found that when we choose to set an intentional goal such as no screens during the summer, our children absolutely flourish in that kind of low-tech environment.
- They free play more
- They imagine more
- They engage with humans more
- They notice the beauty in nature more
When our kids are off of screens, they problem solve. They think critically. They get inventive and become creators rather than consumers.
At the end of the day, each family has to make their own decision on how much tech is right for them. Whether you choose to be a low tech or a high tech family, do so with wisdom. Most of us don’t get it right the first time. We learn through trial and error what works and what was a total bust.
No matter how they choose to do it, parents should limit screen time. It is our right and responsibility to create a healthy environment for our children in which they can thrive.
Leave a comment below and share how you set screen time boundaries in your family!
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