Are you spending way more time than you’d like to admit scrolling on social media? Do you feel like you are on an endless hamster wheel of posting to stay relevant? Does your self-esteem rise and fall with the amount of “likes” and “comments” you get online? Are you just plain sick and tired of the pile of things you didn’t get done while you were captivated by the screen?
I’ve been there too! As humans, we naturally crave connection. We’ve been lulled into thinking we can get that basic need met online from the convenience of our home, but the more time we spend scrolling, the lonelier and less productive most of us wind up feeling. Social media isn’t actually as social as the name promises. Most of us isolate with our devices and engage with these platforms alone. Many of the relationships that we hold online don’t actually transfer to real lives.
It has been almost 7 years since my husband and I deleted all of our social media accounts, traded our smartphones for “dumbphones,” and got rid of the smart TV that was constantly streaming something in the background of our life. To answer your first question: No, we do not live in a bunker or a backwoods cabin with no internet and limited access to civilization…
We are pretty normal millennials, aside from the fact that we choose to live our lives without social media.
But why? Why did two average millennials choose to say no to social media when most of our peers are actively engaged online? In this blog, I’ll share the full scoop on what a world without social media is actually like, how to keep in touch with friends without an online presence, and 4 major reasons to delete social media today and never look back.
Benefits of No Social Media
One of the biggest benefits of no social media is the hours you instantly gain in your day. Many people are spending upwards of 7 hours per day on screens for pleasure. If only half of that time were allocated toward social media usage—and that’s being generous—that would mean that people give 3.5 hours of their life to social media each and every day. If you have a traditional smartphone, you can check your screen report to figure out how much time you spend online, but let’s do some simple math together here.
3.5 Hours Per Day on Social Media
Equals
24.5 Hours Per Week
98 Hours Per Month
1,176 Hours Per Year
Imagine what you could DO with that kind of time back in your life. With 24.5 extra hours per week, you could read just over four 200 page books every seven days. 98 hours per month is the equivalent to a relaxing two and a half week vacation or a road trip spanning several landmarks.
1,176 hours off social media is enough time to acquire a skill, repair a relationship, start a business, build a tiny home, train for a triathlon, learn how to play the piano, read the entire bible, or travel through all 50 states in North America multiple times…
Grab my Screen Free Family Bingo Challenge to connect with your family offline!
No Brainer Reasons To Delete Social Media Today
Deleting Social Media for Mental Health
Deleting social media for mental health is a wise thing to do. We weren’t designed to carry around mini computers in our pockets and peek into the lives of hundreds of other people each day.
Social media can affect our mental health in so many negative ways. Here are a few examples…
- We feel less than when others present polished versions of their lives online.
- We feel sad when friends exclude us from an outing and we get to see it all unfold online.
- We feel anxious when strangers target us and our family inappropriately with information they gathered about us on social media.
- We feel jealous when our significant other crosses socially acceptable lines with “friends” on social media such as “liking” photos of the opposite sex.
- We are tempted to find our own worth based on the attention, comments, and “likes” that we either do or do not get online.
Social media can tempt us to paint an inaccurate portrait of our own life, only share our highlight reel, and experience imposter syndrome when others “like” us based on our social media profile and not based on reality. The possibilities for how social media can negatively impact our mental health and cause problems that would not otherwise exist are endless.
Delete social media for richer relationships
I have no social media primarily because I wanted richer relationships in real life. I wanted to be more engaged with my family and my community than I was anywhere else online. Deleting social media enabled me to be a present participant in my own real life.
When I removed the illusion of connection I felt from social media, I became far more intentional about bonding with my husband, my kids, friends, extended family, neighbors, church family, and new people I met.
Delete social media to claim back your time
If you want 1,000 or more hours back in your year to spend on things that you actually care about, delete social media today! There is not much worse than scrolling on social media, looking up, and realizing you’ve wasted hours of your precious time.
After too much scrolling on your phone, you feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the tasks you didn’t get done in your actual life. Think of all the good things you could do if you had 1,000 extra hours in your year.
Delete social media for your children
Are you a parent? Delete social media to model for your kids what a vibrant, undistracted life looks like. If our kids see us with our heads down, scrolling all day long, they will want to do the same. Smartphones, tablets, and laptops become attractive to our little people when they appear attractive to us.
But if we instead choose to log out of social media and opt in to our actual lives, we have the power to make the simple things appealing to our kids. Things like taking a walk, appreciating a sunset, or kicking around a soccer ball in the backyard.
Many parents today are frustrated by the amount of screen time their kids are consuming. The change starts with us.
What to do instead of being on your phone?
My husband and I exchanged the excessive time we used to spend on our phones for time with humans in person. This has included things like…
- Spending quality time with each other
- Engaging with our kids / being present parents
- Hosting dinners and game nights with friends
- Plugging into our local church body beyond Sunday morning
We’ve also traded some of the time we used to spend online for time outside with our children. Instead of aimlessly scrolling on devices while our kids are plopped in front of their own screen, we have made it our goal to shut down technology and get out in the great outdoors.
We have seen so many benefits in swapping screen time for green time such as lower stress levels, improved mood, extra energy, and stronger family bonds. If you are looking to spend less time on your phone, start by getting outside without it as often as possible.
- Walk your pet
- Read in the sun
- Plant a basic garden
Some other things we enjoy doing instead of scrolling social media include…
- Leatherworking
- Home remodel projects
- Reading to our kids and alone
- Playing instruments
- Making jewelry
- Taking walks
- Gardening
- Journaling
- Writing
- Drawing
- Knitting
- Cooking
- Travelling
How To Keep In Touch With Friends Without Social Media
Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of ways to maintain close relationships with others without social media. Before we get into more reasons that life without social media is awesome, I wanted to share some practical ways that you can experience the connection you’ve been searching for online.
- Mail thoughtful, handwritten letters to people you care about. It is way more delightful to receive mail and know that someone took the time to think of you than to receive a quick “like” on social media.
- Make phone calls to catch up. This way, you hear your loved ones’ actual voice and tone. You get to read between the lines and learn how they are actually doing. Phone calls are so much more intimate than social media comments.
- Send text messages to your friends and family. I make myself a short list every couple of days of people I want to check in on via text or call. Then, when my kids are occupied and I have a minute to catch up with people without ignoring the people under my own roof, I send a message.
- When someone you care about goes through a hard time such as a death in the family or a miscarriage, send flowers or and Edible Arrangement. I have felt so much more loved by the people who thought of our family and sent a tangible reminder than I did when people used to reach out to me on social media during hard times.
- Give your new neighbors an old fashion welcome basket rather than a virtual friend request! This is one of mine and my husband’s favorite ways to establish a new friendship with people who move into our neighborhood.
- Invite people over for dinner, dessert, an informal game of backyard sports, or a campfire. Spend time together in-person rather than online.
- Save the money and make the time to visit distant relatives on your next vacation.
- Go on walks and hikes with people. Catch up outdoors where it is less likely for anyone to be distracted on their phones.
- Jot down special dates and send your loved ones birthday cards and gifts. It feels so much better to be remembered in this way than to receive a “happy birthday” simply because social media alerted people of your special day.
- If you are a Christian, plug into your local bible believing church. Go to their weekly small group. Closer relationships are more easily formed in these types of intimate settings where people freely talk about their struggles and pray for one another.
Is Social Media Bad?
Most tools are not inherently good or bad. It’s all about how you use them and how they affect you personally. There are certainly people that exist who are capable of keeping technology in its proper place. Some people have a smartphone but exercise discipline as to not overuse it. Others have social media accounts, but utilize them for businesses purposes or use them sparingly and have responsible boundaries around their screen time.
It is possible to have social media with proper boundaries, but it is increasingly rare. The problem with social media is that we are prone to overuse it and allow it to…
- Steal our time
- Affect our mood
- Influence our spending
Most of us know what it’s like to be so distracted by the virtual world that we neglect the relationships that we say mean the most to us in our real life. People all over are struggling to balance their technology usage.
Have you ever been mid-conversation with someone who got a notification on their smartwatch and subsequently disengaged with you while they tended to the dinging device? Or have you ever been in a grocery checkout line and noticed that the clerk paused to scroll on their smartphone while your receipt printed instead of responding to your small talk? We all know what it’s like to be captivated by our devices and to be ignored by someone who is captivated by their own device.
It’s a lonely feeling.
A World Without Social Media
Imagine that instead of checking social media in the morning, you woke up with the sun and headed right outside to breathe in fresh air, enjoy a glass of something refreshing, and simply take in the colors of the sky. No digital distractions in sight.
After an unhurried respite on your front porch, you take a stroll through the garden and water the tomato plants. You are unhurried and free from anxiety.
Imagine living in a world void of digital disruptions. Your head is not hung low scrolling on social media. Without a device to scroll on, you don’t miss or trivialize the simple things happening around you.
You actually notice a rabbit trot by, the breeze on your face, and the squish of dewy grass under your bare feet. The little things in life bring you joy. You don’t overlook them anymore.
Imagine that you smell the actual lilies in your garden rather than peering through a little screen to view an orchard thousands of miles away.
Next, you go on with your day. Breakfast, hygiene, parenting, work, chores. Things move at the pace of reality.
Many of your daily tasks are mundane, but you don’t mind. You have nothing to compare it to. Your load is manageable because you are not multitasking with a smartphone or trying to keep up with Susie on social media.
You finish one thing before you start another. As you tidy up your living room, you aren’t comparing your worn hardwood floors and torn couch cushions to your friend’s Pinterest-worthy palace. When you used to spend hours a day on social media, you felt very discontent about your own home. You always found something new you needed to order online in order to spruce your place up. After all, Susie’s space always looked orderly at the exact time that your children spilled juice or crashed into their tower of Magna-tiles on the living room floor. You’d feel a tension rising within as you escaped to the virtual world and admired Susie’s “encouraging” post on minimalism and organization.
But what you weren’t seeing back then that you have come to understand now is that Susie’s home wasn’t perfect either. In order for her to capture the lovely photo of her pristine living space, she may have had to move the curtains, wait for the best sunlight, yell at her children to get out of the way, put the toddler in front of a screen, and snap fifteen photos until she got the right angle.
As you settle sibling squabbles, teach your little ones civilized communication skills, and mop up spilled milk yet again, you aren’t comparing your children’s early morning struggles to the polished family photos your cousin just posted on social media either. All of his kids are smiling and dressed to the nines.
If you take the time to really think about it, you know that your cousin’s children are just as human as your own. It for sure took dozens of camera clicks and the promise of lollipops and Paw Patrol videos to get those serene social media smiles, but at face value, your cousin’s family looks pristine and perfect on social media.
You, on the other hand, are covered in mushy baby food at 9am. There is a brown streak across the wall and you aren’t even sure if you want to know whether it is poop, chocolate, or crayon…
Your toddler is screaming at the top of his lungs because his finger is stuck in your apron drawer. The dog peed on the kitchen floor. Your three year old is basically hanging from the rafters and your six year old just clogged the toilet, AGAIN.
Why can’t my kids behave like that? you would be tempted to wonder after a good long scroll through your cousin’s online photo album.
But you don’t have to worry about that kind of comparison or discontentmentanymore because you are living without social media. You are able to take today at face value you and tackle the tasks at hand.
You can wrangle the kids, clean up the messes, and get everyone settled in no time at all because you are not engrossedin a handheld computer. You are a present parent not a distracted mom.
You aren’t tempted to look ahead or behind you. You keep your gaze fixed right in front of you on whatever the day holds.
You aren’t slowed down by aimless scrolling.
You aren’t losing track of time in a virtual vortex.
Your tasks take no longer than they need to.
There is plenty of white space in your life for rest and reflection.
This is what a world without social media is like!
I am living it and I have no regrets. Quitting social media was the best things I ever did as a mom.
Pros and Cons of Deleting Social Media
Since there are more benefits of quitting social media than disadvantages, let’s start with a few drawbacks of saying no to social media…
Pros of Social Media:
- Without social media, you don’t get to view the day to day life of long distance friends and families. You might miss out on milestone photos of cousins in your life, exciting updates from friends, or pertinent prayer requests loved ones post online.
- A lot of my friends post invitations to their children’s birthday parties and other events through social media instead of mailing paper invitations. Instead of simply adding me to their virtual queue, they have to remember to call, text, or mail a paper invitation.
- A lot of support groups exist online through social media. As a homeschooling family, I am sure there are cool groups we could benefit from if we chose to participate in social media. I like that there are online social media forums where you can ask likeminded people questions and benefit from their advice.
- Some social media sites offer options where people can buy and sell used things. My sister in law snagged us a free piano from social media a couple of years ago and we are super grateful that she did!
Social Media Cons:
- Social media distracts us from the loved ones who live under our very same roof.
- Social media steals way more time in our day than any of us intend it to.
- Social media deters us from cultivating community and building rich relationships in real life.
- Social media was strategically designed to keep us engaged online. When we spend lots of time scrolling, we model for our children a high-tech and device-dependent lifestyle and the simple things lose their luster.
- Social media tempts us to constantly compare our reality to someone else’s highlight reel.
- Social media spoils the pace of reality and entices us to expect instant gratification.
- Social media enables us to cross blurry relational lines in a socially acceptable way.
- Social media gives others a megaphone to insert their loud political opinions into our otherwise quiet day.
- Social media gives people the nerve to say harsh things they would never say in real life.
- Social media gives us unrealistic expectations for what our days should actually be like.
- Social media has a way of stealing the excitement of our unique experiences. Take for example, seeing the mountains of Colorado for the very first time on a road trip and being in absolute awe of God’s glorious creation. Most of us don’t do that anymore. Before visiting a new place, we first undergo a pseudo experience of travel through social media. After scrolling through endless online accounts about Colorado on our devices, we feel as if we’ve been there already. We know “exactly” what it is like from online images. When we finally get to our destination in person, the mystery has been minimized. Some of the awesomeness is diminished because we’ve been there before online. This is what social media does. It takes the excitement out of real life and first time experiences.
Share in the comments below how you will spend the extra hours gained if you decide to take a break from social media.
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