Have you ever thought to yourself, “my nanny is on her phone too much”? Babysitters and screen time can be a tricky subject. As a parent who needs to utilize childcare in whatever capacity, it is incredibly frustrating to entrust your child to someone a chunk of time and pay them good money only to find out that they spent most of that time scrolling on their phone or plopping your kid in front of an electronic babysitter.
The good news is this does not have to be the case. We have an incredible mother’s helper who comes from time to time and does not scroll the day away. In this blog, I will give you simple tips for reducing screen time for your kids when they are not in your care and keeping your babysitter off her own devices.
How do I ask my nanny to stay off her phone?
If your nanny is someone you’ve used for a while that you want to continue using but bad habits have begun, have an open conversation. Explain that you are changing screen time habits for your children. Say that you would like the nanny’s help enforcing your new screen time rules. You could also mention how the kids look up to the nanny and that you will need them to keep their own phone away during work hours from here on out unless there is an emergency.
It is easier to begin fresh with a new babysitter than it is to break negative habits of an old one. If you have expressed your wishes and yet you notice a pattern of laziness or a caviler attitude about your screen time rules, consider hiring a new nanny that will honor your preferences as a parent. These are your children we are talking about. You don’t have to spend your hard earned money on somebody who consistently zones out on her own devices or abdicates her role to screen based entertainment for your children.
Define your household screen time rules up front
If you are hiring a sitter for the first time set everyone up for success by post a sheet with clear rules. Go over the rules verbally with each babysitter as soon as they come to your home. Avoid the awkwardness of needing to correct an issue later by getting everything out in the open up front.
Let the caregiver know that the rule sharing is nothing personal. These are the rules across the board for anyone who cares for your children.
Here are some rules you might add to the sheet:
- Please stay off of your phone during your time babysitting unless you need to make a quick call or contact me.
- We are a low-tech household so no TV, movies, video games, or other electronic devices for the kids.
- Please do not allow the kids to use your smartphone or devices in any capacity.
- Please keep all devices out of sight during your time with the kids, either in your purse or car.
Every rule does not have to pertain to screen time. You can also add things like:
- Encourage sibling kindness, forgiveness, and quick conflict resolution.
- Keep the toddler in your line of sight at all times.
- Don’t let the kids go outside without you.
- No sugary snacks, but the kids are welcome to the fruit bowl.
Provide a very clear agenda
Don’t leave your babysitter wondering what to do and then be frustrated that she resorted to the electronic babysitter. Many parents today are allowing a lot of screen time. If your family has chosen to go about tech differently, that’s amazing! But it is going to take a conversation and some getting used to for the caregivers. I have found that babysitters will quickly adapt when expectations are laid out, activities are provided, and no stone is left unturned.
When our babysitter comes, I have a time stamped, color coded, step by step agenda of how I would like the day to go. Of course there is flexibility, but I know that the best way to set the kids, the sitter, and myself up for success is by having clear expectations out in the open. With a clear plan, screens are less likely to be an issue. The babysitter won’t be in the corner scrolling on her phone while my kids run wild and hang from the rafters because she has specific activities she has been asked to do with them in a timely manner. She isn’t left bored or wondering what to do with the children.
Here is an example of the agenda I wrote out when the babysitter came for three hours on a summer day:
9:30
- Play Candyland with the kids
- Play Hi-Ho Cheerio with the kids
- Read aloud the two picture books on the table
- Blow up balloons for the kids to play with
10:00
- Take the kids outside to play for one hour (bubbles, hammock, swings, trampoline, games)
11:00
- Bring the kids inside. Set the toddler up in his high chair with a banana, a mandarin orange, and a bowl of his crunchies.
- Practice the children’s memory work with them at the table.
11:30
- Take the older kids swimming. I will keep the littles.
12:30
- Bring everyone inside for lunch.
On this particular day, I had everything laid out and prepped alongside the agenda. Candyland was open and spread out on the table. Hi-Ho Cheerio was nearby. The two picture books my daughter had chosen were out to be read.
There was a bag full of balloons, bubbles, bubble guns, squirt guns, and outdoor toys read to go. Bathing suits, beach towels, and the lifejacket was laid out on the table. The fruit bowl was in sight.
I did all the work necessary to ensure that my babysitter was prepared and my kids were going to get a fun screen free day with her.
Grandparents and screen time
An important thing I want to mention here is that grandparents who help raise your kids forty hours a week, family that you aren’t paying, or a friend who is doing you a last minute favor is much different than a nanny you employ or a babysitter you pay. When you are paying for a service, you get to specify how you want it done, enforce those rules, and choose to take your business elsewhere if things don’t work out. When family and friends are doing you a favor, it’s a whole different ballgame.
You may not be able to get family and friends to lay down their phones while babysitting, but here are a few things you can do limit the amount of time your child is staring at them while they scroll or asking for their own screen time:
- Instill a love of reading in your child and pack good books. Get them excited about stories. Challenge them to read a certain amount of pages or chapters while they are with Grandma for a visit, to draw you a picture of what happened, and to tell you their favorite parts of the story when they get home.
- Pack screen free activities such as puzzles, sketchpads, markers, LEGOs, word searches, and a Rubik’s cube.
I have a post on grandparents and screen time to help you navigate those tricky waters here:
Keep your kids with you
Last but definitely not least, consider caring for your precious ones full time. A babysitter from time to time can be an awesome tool to get a date night, go to a doctor’s appointment, attend a wedding, or a get a summer project done, but when it comes to paying a full time nanny or leaning on a family member for childcare multiple days a week, one way or another, this is probably going to invite issues into our family life.
Most other humans aren’t going to do things exactly as we prefer for our children. It might be that they scroll on their phone too much, let our kids play video games we didn’t authorize, extend TV time past our screen time limits, don’t see the value of outdoor play, or fill the kids up with junk food and sugar drinks.
Or maybe it’s none of those issues and our caregivers are fabulous people. At the end of the day, there’s nothing like caring for your own kids, laying a solid foundation for family life, and making memories with them day in and day out. Your work as a parent matters. It is significant to spend your time in the home caring for your little people.
I have a blog on how to afford being a stay at home mom here if you’re interested: https://screenfreemom.com/how-to-afford-to-be-a-stay-at-home-mom/