Every mom needs a break. Moms do some of the most important and time consuming work on the planet. We are on-call and available to our little people 24/7, so how often should we get a break? As a mom of 4, I am here to share the full scoop on mom breaks, whether or not a stay at home mom should get one, and tips to come back to your family recharged when you do get a reprieve.
Is it OK to need a break as a mom?
Yes. It is completely normal and ok to need a break as a mom. All humans, no matter what their profession, need a break. Although God made us incredibly strong and capable, moms need a break too.
At regular 9 to 5 jobs, it is expected that employees would take breaks. Typically, in a healthy work environment, workers take at least one 15 minute break sometime in the morning and a 30 to 60 minute lunch break in the afternoon. Some people choose to take shorter breaks and spread them out over their entire workday.
Furthermore, in corporate work environments, employees generally work 5 days a week and have two days off. It is considered healthy for workers to take 1 to 3 weeks of vacation time per year.
This is going to look different for moms. The work of caring for our families takes place 365 days a year. We are active in our roles as mothers for about 12 hours a day (during our kid’s waking hours) and we are on-call every single night. If someone wakes up ill, wets the bed, needs to nurse, has a bad dream, goes through a sleep regression, or gets scared, we moms are there.
We spring out of bed and do the good work of being mamas, no questions asked.
Mothers were uniquely designed to care for their children. We were created able to carry, birth, nurse, and meet the endless needs of our precious babies. Those who become mamas through adoption are given grace to meet the unique needs that come along with that entire process.
This is incredible!
God equips moms with a special strength that enables us to wake up with sick children, tend to hungry babies, comfort the lonely, support the struggling, train, teach, and run on very little sleep when need be.
Free Printable Mom Schedule
Want to make the most of your days as a stay at home mom? Grab this free printable mom schedule and start fresh with days you will look forward to as a mother.
Daily Routine For Mom Free Printable includes:
- A simple daily goal checklist to keep you on track as a mama
- A spot to brain dump all the random things swimming around your head
- A section to help you narrow down your top priorities for the day
- A reflection spot to look back on what went well and help you celebrate your accomplishments as a stay at home mom
Should Stay At Home Moms Get A Break?
The contribution a stay at home mom makes to her family is incredibly valuable work. Whether her time is fully allocated to her family or she is a part time work from home mother, she will need breaks from time to time and that is OK.
Dear Overwhelmed Stay At Home Mom,
Your kids are blessed to have a mama that considers them a top priority amid all the other things vying for your attention. You are doing an incredible job. It is normal to get tired and feel discouraged at times. Sometimes a good night’s sleep and an intentional mom break is all you need to reset, refresh, and come back to your family with a renewed sense of purpose. Remember to put consistent breaks into your SAHM schedule.
Your work is intense and your work matters. By being a constant loving presence in your child’s life, you are helping them to form a secure and natural attachment to you as their dependable parent. Through hours of daily nurture and joyful service to your family, you are laying the groundwork for your kids to bloom as confident individuals who feel safe, seen, and secure in your love.
Keep up the intentional work, take breaks before you hit the point of overwhelm, and don’t grow weary in the good you are doing at home.
Love,
Screen Free Mom
Intentional mothers do a thousand unseen things every day that keep their families running smoothly. When a mom stays home full time with her kids, she may not be bringing in a paycheck but she is certainly working and saving her family time and money. A mom who does not have to leave her home to work saves her family the large cost of daycare, transportation, gas, corporate clothes, fast food lunches, and many conveniences that are often used to make up for the exhaustion of a face paced lifestyle.
As a mother who has both worked outside of the home full time and stayed home around the clock with my children for years, I know that mom burnout is a real thing. We can avoid this by taking care of ourselves and taking breaks before we reach the point of burnout.
Stay at home moms deserve a break just as much as their externally employed counterparts. Often, mothers who devote their lives to the care of the family do not take sick days. They keep their family’s afloat even when they themselves are under the weather.
All of us could afford to pursue more balance regardless of the amount of hours we work as moms. I have a blog post all about how to get a break as a stay at home mom even when you don’t have a babysitter. It is possible to take a momma break without giving your kids screen time. Here’s how:
How do I give myself a break as a mom?
Prioritize your mom breaks just as seriously as you would prioritize your health. If you skimped out on drinking water, exercising, taking vitamins, eating nutritious meals, and going to the doctor too often, you would see your health suffer. You would feel lethargic, gain weight, and see an increase in illness in your life. The same goes for when you need a time away to reset. Schedule these breaks preventatively rather than waiting until you burnout or get depleted mother syndrome.
Simple Ideas When Momma Needs a Break
- Take a walk alone in the early mornings while your husband is still home to monitor the kids.
- Read, drink a full glass of water, and sit in silence outside in the fresh air before your kids wake up for the day.
- Require a daily quiet rest time for your children and use that opportunity to recharge.
- Budget in advanced and do a quarterly lunch or dinner date with girlfriends in a similar season of life as you.
- Seek out a mom mentor who is ahead of you in her mothering and have a bi-weekly phone call for encouragement.
- Let the grandparents keep your kids for a whole Saturday every other month and have a mom break as well as a relaxed day date with your husband.
- Plug in to your local church and refresh at the weekly community group they offer.
- Go get a haircut, manicure, or pedicure. Pick out a new outfit, some makeup, or perfume that makes you feel feminine.
- Let your husband sleep in on Saturdays with no responsibilities and ask him to return the favor so you can have a mom break on Sunday mornings.
- Let the kids have a pizza party on the porch while you and your husband have a dinner date at the table once in a blue moon. Ask your husband to grill dinner or to pick up something special for the two of you to eat so that you don’t have to cook that evening.
How often should a mom get a break?
Every mom is different but the average stay at home mom would experience refreshment if she aimed to take 2 to 3 short breaks every day and a longer break once a month.
I find it helpful to take some time to myself early in the morning before my kids wake up for 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how early I am able to wake up. I also like to enjoy an afternoon break while my kids nap or listen to a good audiobook during quiet time.
One way that I get a longer monthly mom break is when one of the grandparents take our kids out for a day of fun. This is a blessing to both me and the kids.
If you have people in your life that you love and trust, don’t be afraid to ask them to spend an afternoon with your children once in a while so that you can refresh.
I also schedule a momma break about every three months by making time to go to a meal with a friend or two. I like to schedule these meals during my kids’ nap times or after their early bedtime so that my husband can be home to supervise but also relax during my time away.
Burnt Out Mom
If you are feeling like a burnt out mom, make sure to communicate with your support system and schedule a time to reset as soon as possible. During seasons of high stress and low energy, my husband has recognized the signs of mom burnout and gifted me evenings to myself.
During one particularly taxing postpartum season, we had a death in our family and I was mentally and physically exhausted. My husband was such a huge support during that time. He sent me away to recharge while he cleaned up dinner, tidied the house, and put the kids to bed. This was exactly the mom break I needed to get through that challenging time and avoid depleted mother syndrome. I rested, read my bible, sat in silence, and journaled for a while.
Mom breaks don’t have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money.
The silence alone made such a huge difference in my mental health. Sometimes a mom just needs a couple quiet minutes to regroup. Whenever I take some time to refresh, I am able to pour back into my family in ways that I simply couldn’t when I was burnt out.
Times of refreshment help us to gain a fresh perspective and get excited about motherhood again.
Moms Need a Break Too
Motherhood is good and draining work. Both things can be true at the same time. We need to be poured into in order to pour out to our children in a healthy way.
Mamas have the opportunity to show their kids the love of God through a thousand daily actions that the rest of the world will never see.
Plugged-in mamas bless their kids with secure attachment, affirmation, unconditional love, and tireless training. All of this important work can leave us feeling depleted when we don’t get the breaks we need and when we forget to rely on the One who made it possible for us to rest.
Our breaks as moms are not going to seamlessly line up with how the corporate work world doles out their breaks. But, at the same time, moms need a break too and it is ok to need a break as a mom. It is normal to need times of rest and refreshment, just like everybody else.
How Can Moms Get a Break?
I have an entire post on how to get a break as a mom without relying on the electronic babysitter for your kids. When I only had two young kids years ago, I looked to cartoons as a solution to occupy my kids so that I could get things done or get some peace and quiet. Quickly I saw the clear links between screen time and behavior issues in children. Whatever time I had bought myself while the electronic devices were in use didn’t actual serve me because my kids were extra challenging to handle when screen time was over. Below I have a post full of practical ideas for how moms can get a break without handing their kids a device.
Get a Momma Break Through Quiet Time For Kids
Are you a stay at home mom to children who have outgrown naps? I feel you. The transition from a daily napper to a preschooler who CLEARLY still needs one but fights it every afternoon is just plain hard. One way that I have been able to create a calm midday break for myself and my kids is by establishing a quiet time. This is a block of time shortly after lunch when everyone either rests or listens to an audiobook while doing a relaxing activity.
Children’s audiobooks are an awesome solution for high octane toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary kids who need naps but don’t take one anymore. Stories engage the mind while simple activities keep little hands busy.
Here’s my complete guide to the very best audiobooks for kids plus quiet time tips and ideas to help your kids chill during the day so that you can have some peace and quiet…
Don’t Forget To Use Your Momma Break Wisely
If you do all the work of getting your kids settled for naps and independent play, but then you blow your own break scrolling on social media, you will not return to your family feeling recharged.
We have all made this mistake.
We get the preschooler, toddler, and baby all down for their afternoon nap and instead of resting ourselves, we seek pseudo connection and mental stimulation on the internet.
Do yourself a favor and make a rule that you will REST before any other activity you do. Take at least a twenty minute power nap or simply lay still and rest your mind without any sensory input whatsoever. Enjoying the quiet, hearing our own thoughts, praying have become lost arts. Our generation tends to fill every moment with device distraction and we are paying for it in our mental health.
Curious about the benefits of reducing screen time as a mama? Read this:
How can moms take a break?
I have several simple ideas for you below on what to during your time of refreshment, but don’t forget to rest first. Put the kids down for a nap or set them up with an audiobook, stick your smartphone in the junk drawer, set a twenty minute kitchen timer, and simply relax your mind.
Sit in silence or read until your busy mom brain quiets down enough to rest. We as moms get so much sensory input from our (precious) loud, exuberant children. It is important to have some downtime without noise from the world via our phones and social media.
You will be SO glad that you took the time to truly rest, offline, during your momma break.
After your time of rest, do what you want and need to do. You might want to…
- Read a book
- Exercise
- Knit
- Crochet
- Call a friend
- Journal
- Fold some laundry
- Enjoy a favorite snack
- Pop dinner into the oven alone
- Clean the bathroom without little people crawling around
- Listen to your favorite podcast
- Paint by number
- Return emails
- Do your freelance work
- Set up family doctor appointments
- Pay the bills
- Send your husband a nice message
- Meal plan for the week
- Read your favorite blog
- Paint your nails
- Set a ten minute timer and catch up with your friends on social media
- Do a word search
- Color in an adult coloring book
- Brain dump on notebook paper
- Doodle
Take a Mommy Lunch Break
My favorite thing to do to recharge as a mom is to take a Mommy Lunch Break.
At my old nine to five job I would look forward to the time when I could turn off my computer, send the phones to voicemail, and enjoy a yummy meal in peace. I liked to eat alone in my car instead of in the break room just to have 20 minutes of peace and quiet by myself.
(Can you tell that I am an introvert?)
I have taken this same lunch break concept with me into motherhood and it has served me so well.
I spend my mornings pouring into my children when I have my very best energy.
I feed them, read to them, engage with them, teach them, answer their questions, stimulate their minds with memory work, help them to exercise their bodies outside, bandage their boo-boos, take them on playdates, swim with them, walk with them, and the list goes on and on.
I use my kid’s lunch time to read aloud to them some more and chat with them about their day.
But I save my food for later.
After they are settled with a screen free quiet time activity, I sit with my own thoughts or a good book and I eat my lunch alone. This short break in and of itself leaves me recharged. If you need a break, get your kids settled and try a Mommy Lunch Break.
What happens when a mom never gets a break?
When mom never gets a break, this can lead to fatigue, emotional distress, resentment, depletion, and mom burnout. Don’t get me wrong, there are seasons when moms simply don’t get breaks.
Things are not always going to be even and balanced in our motherhood.
During pregnancy and postpartum, moms don’t get the same kind of breaks as when they have mostly older children. When my husband was deployed for 7 months and I had two kids under two years old, I got way less breaks than I do now. The ages and stages of our children can also prevent us from getting long and regular breaks. Younger kids need more. Naps don’t always happen.
Sometimes when we have been up all night with sick children or nursing infants, we don’t have the energy to wake up before the big kids to get a quiet break. That is okay. Those seasons don’t last forever.
There are many seasons of sacrifice and hard work in motherhood, but remember, your work matters! Your kids count on you and your loving presence in their lives makes a bigger difference than you may ever know.
As momma’s, we want to aim to prioritize consistent breaks, communicate our needs to our spouse, and do the best that we can, but also recognize that our mom breaks won’t always happen in the same way that most people can count on their 12 ‘o clock lunch break at regular jobs.
Mom Guilt for Needing a Break
Don’t feel mom guilt for needing a break. You are not superhuman. What would you tell your best friend if she needed a break as a mom? You would probably encourage her and offer to watch her kids for a couple of hours. What if your daughter was grown and had children of her own? Would you shame her for desiring a break?
No.
Give yourself the same grace that you give others.
If you are a present parent and you are consistently doing the good work of motherhood, it is normal and natural to need a break. Instead of allowing mom guilt to creep in, be proactive and get creative.
Start waking up 30 minutes before your kids to get a mom break. Start pouring into them through good books, eye contact, smiles, and conversation during lunch time. Then, enjoy a Mommy Lunch Break of your own!
Gift your husband a bi-monthly day to spend any way he’d like and ask him to do the same for you. There is no shame in mom needing a break.
Make it happen starting today so that you can be the refreshed, loving mama your family needs you to be.
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