When my kids learned to play independently, a whole new world opened up for all of us. Solo play is a crucial part of child development, but more children than ever are struggling to entertain themselves in the screen rich environment we have created. Here are 6 simple ways you can encourage your child in independent play, plus tips on how to institute a daily quiet time for kids.
Encouraging Play
Decrease Screen Time
Excessive screen time for kids is the enemy of independent play. The more screen time children get, the more dependent they become upon electronic devices. Screens provide quick transitions and strategic dopamine hits that entice our children’s brains to continually come back for more. Reality becomes boring and screen time feels almost addicting.
The shows young kids are watching and the games they are playing on screens were deliberately designed to captivate their attention and trick them into wanting more. A child who is has access to TV or a tablet for several hours each day is most likely going to struggle when it is time to shut off the device and engage in imaginative play.
Step one to encourage children to play independently is to decrease screen time. Try a digital detox. Fully eliminate overstimulating shows, tablet time, video games, iPads, and smartphones for 2 to 6 weeks. I guarantee you, wonderful things will happen. Our first digital detox was life-changing.
I had been convinced that I would never get a break as a mom if I didn’t lean on the electronic babysitter, but once I bit the bullet and removed screen time altogether, my kids learned how to entertain themselves.
Ready to get started?
Fill Their Love Bucket
The next step to encouraging your child to enjoy independent play is to fill their love bucket proactively.
Have you ever woken up in a rush to get your family somewhere, hurried everyone to find their shoes, brush their teeth, and grab a granola bar on the way to the car?
Are those the types of days when your kids generally hop-to with a cheery, Mary Poppins type of attitude and do everything you say the first time you asked?
Probably not.
When we don’t slow down, love on our kids, and prepare them for what is ahead, they usually meltdown, buck against our requests, and struggle the rest of the day. The same goes for solo play. Kids crave love, connection, and affirmation from their caregivers. If they have been ignored, they will seek parental attention in either positive or negative ways.
My preschoolers are way more apt to play independently after a good cuddle and read aloud time with Mommy.
Tips to Fill Your Kid’s Love Bucket
- Put down your phone. We are all guilty of this. When children feel like they are constantly competing with our electronic devices for our attention, they are less likely to play independently and more likely to either cling to our side or seek stimulation from their own electronic devices to mimic us.
- Read aloud to your kids. Reading aloud is such an easy relational win. It only takes a couple of minutes but the reward is huge. Make a point to read aloud some picture books or novel chapters to your children twice a day, for just ten minutes each time. Laugh with your kids over the funny parts, pause to appreciate the illustrations, ask them questions, and snuggle them close. I can’t think of an easier or richer way to fill a kid’s love bucket than to read a delightful book with them.
Need some help making reading fun again for your kids?
Provide Simple Supplies
Simple, screen-free supplies can be the catalyst to imaginative play for many children. Instead of instructing your children on how exactly to play, simply strew supplies around where they will notice them and allow them to initiate their own creative free play.
Here are some supply ideas…
- Army men (cheap plastic mini army men from Dollar Tree)
- Baskets (inexpensive thrift store baskets have become baby doll beds, storehouses for rock collections, flower holders, secret agent supply bins, seashell collectors, a place for grass and garden findings, a lunchbox for imaginary and real snacks, and so much more!)
- Baby dolls and accessories
- Barbies
- Beads and string
- Binoculars
- Blankets and pillows (to make indoor forts)
- Bunjee Cords
- Cars and ramps
- Capes
- Clay
- Construction paper
- Costumes
- Dart Board
- Felt
- Flower garden toy
- Horses and stables
- Jungle animals
- Kinetic sand
- Lanterns
- Legos
- Looking glass or old paper towel roll for spying
- Magnetic building tiles
- Outdoor survival kit
- Paper, pencils, crayons, colored pencils, glue, markers, oil pastels, paints, scissors
- Play dough
- Pop up tents
- Rope
- Sensory bins
- Sticky men (from Dollar Tree)
- Superheros
- Trucks
- Yarn
- Woodland animals
Need help connecting with your kids without screens? Grab my free printable Screen Free Family Bingo here:
Create Time and Space
Play requires time and space. Kids who are over scheduled and shuffled from one activity to the next often struggle with unstructured play. Instead, they prefer to cling to mom for security or “decompress” with screen time during the short windows of opportunity they get to chill out between scheduled activities.
Instead of signing your child up for loads of activities and maxing out their schedule, gift them time and space to simply be kids and play. Mark off “Free Days” on your calendar where absolutely nothing is going on. Block off time in your child’s daily schedule just for recreation. Play is a worthwhile use of your child’s time and crucial to healthy development.
Institute a Daily Quiet Time
If you have toddlers, preschoolers, or homeschoolers, create a special time in their daily schedule for independent play. Many families call this practice “quiet time.” It’s a midday slot of time in which children who are home but have outgrown naps get an hour or two of screen free time to simply rest, relax, and do activities that they personally find enjoyable.
Over the years, my children have looked forward to listening to audiobooks, crafting, creating, and playing during quiet time. This is a block of their day that I don’t have to force. They want time and space to do their own creative projects. They enjoy unstructured play.
Quiet Time For Kids
During quiet time, my kids have enjoyed dressing up in costumes, making tents, crafting, drawing, writing, and reading. They like to build with Lincoln Logs, Legos, Magna-Tiles, and other STEM building kits.
They entertain themselves by knitting, playing with barbies, caring for baby dolls, setting up scenes of Army men, playing with toy horses, setting up duals between superheroes, and using their imaginations with woodland animal toys.
The possibilities for independent play during quiet time are absolutely endless. I recommend providing your kids with children’s audiobooks to listen to during quiet time and giving them space to play freely.
Here are the best audiobooks for children to listen to during quiet independent play time:
How To Encourage Independent Play
Here are solutions to some common problems and frequently asked questions surrounding solo play at various ages and stages of child development.
Toddler Independent Play Activities
I have an entire post on the best indoor toddler activities to help you occupy your little one. Some of my toddler’s favorite independent play activities have been indoor shopping (a.k.a. collecting random things around our house in a big paper shopping bag), cup stacking, pilfering through boxes that I stuff with fun toddler things, and chunky wooden puzzles.
Here’s the full post to get more ideas for how to entertain your toddler:
3.5 Year Old Won’t Play Alone
3 years old can be a really tough age if your child never plays alone and you feel like you don’t get a break as a mom. When my first child was 2, she stopped napping and struggled to play independently. Around the time she turned 3, I discovered audiobooks for preschoolers and quiet time activities.
My 3.5 year old’s have loved the following audiobooks: The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter, The Beginner’s Bible, Frog and Toad Audio Collection, Berenstain Bears, and anything from the Curious George series.
During quiet time, my preschoolers loved to make bracelets and necklaces. This fine motor activity not only helped them to “play alone” but it was also laying a foundation for strong hand muscles and the ability to write letters and numbers. Fine motor activities are great independent play options at this age.
Of course, as with anything else, stay nearby, supervise, and use discernment on safety with any activity you provide for your child.
If your 3.5 year old won’t play alone and you are struggling to get a break as a mom, check out my screen time alternative post for solutions:
How to encourage independent play for a 4 year old?
Sensory bins full of kinetic sand are a great option for 4 year old’s for independent play time. Be sure never to purchase sensory bins with water beads for a young child. They are dangerous to children and pets.
We like the following Amazon sensory bins in our home:
- Creativity for Kids Sensory Bin: Outer Space – Preschool and Toddler Sensory Toys, Fine Motor Skills Toys and Sensory Activities for Kids Ages 3+
- Made By Me Explore + Create Unicorn Sensory Bin – Sensory Bins for Toddlers – All-in-One Tactile Sensory Toys – Learn Through Play Toys – Unique Fine Motor Toys & Magical Sensory Experience
- Dazmers Farm Animal Toys Sand Play Set – 28-Piece Sensory Bin with Play Sand, Farm Animals, Tools, and Storage Tray – Hours of Fun for Creative Indoor and Outdoor Kids Play
I purchase extra bags of kinetic sand to add to any pre-made sensory bins. I have also made my own simple sensory bins to spur my kids on in their independent play.
A preschooler favorite was a sea life themed sensory bin that I made with brown kinetic sand, blue kinetic sand, a blue tray, scoops, measuring spoons, beautiful mermaids, fish, and other sea creatures.
How to encourage independent play in 5 year old?
5 years old is such a fun age. Kids at this developmental stage are gaining independence. They are still curious, natural learners, and they usually have wild imaginations.
To encourage independent play in your 5 year old, limit screen time, fill their love bucket up generously, read them great stories, and provide simple supplies. Don’t jampack their schedule with extracurricular activities.
Give them lots of time and space to free play independently, with peers, and with siblings.
Check out my post on the importance of unstructured play for kids:
How to encourage independent play in 6 year old?
Here are some fun screen free activities you can encourage your child in for independent play. Use discernment to decide what is developmentally appropriate and safe for your unique child.
- Unstructured outdoor play such as tree climbing and exploring
- Building creations with STEM building block toys
- Completing challenging puzzles
- Playing Kanoodle (independent screen-free game for kids)
- Solving math riddles
- Swinging on tree swings and tire swings
- Building indoor and outdoor forts
- Making paper airplanes
- Jumping on a trampoline
- Playing on backyard zip line
- Listening to engaging audiobooks for kids
- Playing backyard sports
- Learning an instrument and practicing
- Planning, writing, editing, and illustrating a story
- Going on a scavenger hunt in nature
- Completing word searches
- Building with Lincoln Logs
- Learning how to draw from art books
- Creating a neighborhood newspaper
- Writing letters to family and friends
- Making crafts out of popsicle sticks
- Playing with remote control airplanes
- Riding a bike or scooter
- Racing remote control cars
- Building with Legos
- Making origami
- Writing and acting out a play
- Bird watching with binoculars
- Playing dress up with costumes
- Jumping rope
- Making jewelry with beads
- Dressing up in costumes and playing imaginatively
7 year old won’t play alone
If your 7 year old won’t play alone, help them to explore new interests and develop a hobby. Here are some screen free activity ideas you can try for your child, depending on maturity level. Always use discernment to decide what is appropriate and safe for your unique kid.
- Conducting simple science experiments at home
- Backyard archery with a child-safe bow and arrow
- Outdoor target practice with a child-safe slingshot
- Learning outdoor survival skills through books and practice
- Creating wooden ramps for toy cars
- Building with magnetic blocks
- Shooting empty cans with nerf guns
- Making homemade playdough
- Baking and cake decorating
- Making homemade candy in molds
- Learning how to cook from a recipe book
- Dart board practice
- Molding with clay
- Playing logic games
- Nature journaling
- Rollerblading
- Making slime
- Crafting
- Gardening
- Journaling
- Scrapbooking
- Skateboarding
- Knitting
- Crocheting
At what age should a child play independently?
Children as young as six months old can begin “playing” independently for very short stretches of time in their highchair nearby a loving caregiver. As children grow older, the amount of time they are able to play alone should increase. The amount of time a child will play independently is going to vary from family to family, but here are some general sample timeframes that a child may be able to play independently:
1 year old: One to two daily sessions of independent play for up to ten minutes at a time (with an adult nearby to supervise)
2 years old: Two daily sessions of independent play for up to 20 minutes at a time in a safe environment with age appropriate toys and nearby adult supervision
3 years old: Up to 30 minutes of independent play
4 years old: Up to 45 minutes of independent play
5 years old: Up to 1 hour of independent play
6 years old: Up to 1 hour of independent play
7 years old: 1.5 hours of independent play
Each child is uniquely different. These are just samples. Actual timeframes will vary based on your circumstances and your particular child.
Why won’t my child play independently?
How much screen time is your child getting each day? If the answer is more than the recommended limit or enough to leave your kid overstimulated and dysregulated, this might be the reason they are struggling with independent play. Consider eliminating screen time for at least a month and taking note of any improvements you notice in your child’s independent play time.
Independent play is an important skill for all children to learn in their own time. Which idea from this post are you most inspired to implement? Leave your tips and tricks for how to get kids to play independently in the comments below!
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