Is it necessary to do extracurricular activities? What are some pros and cons of extracurricular activities for kids? How can families manage extracurriculars when they have multiple children to consider?
In this post, we chat about all of this and more. If you are feeling overscheduled and overwhelmed by extracurricular activities for kids, I have a simple solution for you from a countercultural mom of four.
Extracurricular Activities List
Art classes
Basketball
Baseball
Badminton
Book club
Boy scouts
Cake decorating course
Choir
Chess club
Cooking classes
Creative writing classes
Dance
Drama
Football
Foreign Language Classes
Girl scouts
Gymnastics
Horse Riding Lessons
Instrument lessons
Jiujitsu
Karate
Knitting, crocheting, or sewing lessons
Lacrosse
Lego League
Photography Lessons
Robotics club
Singing lessons
Surfing lessons
Swimming lessons
Soccer
Taekwondo
Tennis
Track
Volleyball
Yearbook Club
What are the benefits of extra curricular activities?
- Extracurricular activities are an excellent screen time alternative. Instead allowing children to retreat to electronic devices or play hours of video games in the evenings, many families encourage their kids to practice skills through extracurricular activities instead.
- Extracurriculars build patience and endurance in children as they are challenged to learn and improve in something new.
- In some cases, children’s programming can help kids figure out what they do and don’t like, where their strengths lie, and what they might like to pursue as a future career.
- Extracurricular activities enable kids to develop new skills and learn from experts.
- Kids have opportunities to develop socially and emotionally when they interact with peers during group activities.
What are some cons of extracurricular activities?
- Families who participate in a lot of extracurricular activities often feel overscheduled, stretched thin, and disconnected from one another.
- Extracurriculars get in the way of shared family meals and healthy nutrition because of the rush to get to and from practices and the ease of grabbing fast food on the way.
- Quality time between parents and children and among siblings is reduced when kids are each in their own separate activity multiple evenings per week.
- Too much kid’s programming may prevent families from getting adequate rest.
- Peers in your child’s extracurricular activities could have a negative influence over your children’s behavior and attitude.
- In the technology centered world we are currently living in, it is more likely than ever that peers at group extracurricular activities could expose your kids to things you do not approve of on their personal devices.
Are extracurricular activities worth it?
This will depend on your unique family. In many cases, children thrive in extracurricular activities. Lots of adults look back on their time in team sports or on robotics club with fondness.
However, extracurricular activities are not worth it when families go about it in an unbalanced way.
Many modern families are filled with overscheduled kids and stressed out parents. If you feel the common cultural pressure to have your kids in all the things, you are not alone.
Baseball, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, dance, girl scouts, choir, chess club, art class, gymnastics, track, Lego league, music lessons, and the list goes on.
It appears as if there are many good things we could be a part of and not enough time to do them all.
Questions To Ask Before You Sign Your Kid Up
Before enrolling your children in any extracurriculars, ask yourself the following questions.
- What is my motivation for signing my child up for this?
- Do my spouse and I both agree that this extracurricular is a valuable addition to our schedule?
- Does my child truly desire to participate in this specific kid’s programming?
- What value will my child and our family game from this extracurricular activity?
- What sacrifices will need to be made in order for my child to participate?
- Am I okay with the tradeoffs that will need to be made and is the return value worth it?
- Can I afford this extracurricular activity or will it be a financial burden to our family?
- Does my child need to be a part of this particular program right now? Will the opportunity and benefit still be there next year?
- Could my child learn similar skills and values in a different way that does not take us out of the home multiple days per week?
- Is our family in a season of life to accommodate this extracurricular activity?
- Who influenced me to sign my child up for this program? Do I only want to sign up because all the other local families seem to be enrolling?
Extracurriculars Versus Family
In many homes, extracurricular activities for kids have taken the front seat, while the family unit has been relegated to the back.
While team sports can be an excellent way for kids to build skills and character, there is a high cost to overscheduling your family.
The many benefits of extracurricular activities for kids are often overshadowed by the disadvantages they bring about when the family structure deteriorates beneath the weight of an overscheduled lifestyle.
It is vital that kids have plenty of time to share meals, relax, talk, and bond with their parents and siblings on a daily basis. Family time should be protected and kept as a high priority.
Children who have intentional caregivers who spend quality time with them are more secure and well-adjusted individuals. It is imperative that we as parents do not trade our time with our kids in order to “keep up with the Joneses” by enrolling them in every extracurricular available.
Below I will share a simple solution to extracurricular activities for kids if you are feeling overscheduled and overwhelmed as a mom.
A Simple Approach To Extracurricular Activities for Kids
If you have multiple children and you feel overscheduled, pulled in a million different directions, and overwhelmed as a mom, try this countercultural approach to kid’s activities.
Instead of enrolling each of your children in one or more programs every season, consider allowing just one child from your crew to do one extracurricular activity per year.
Rather than allowing extracurricular activities for kids to pull your family apart, utilize these programs wisely, as a tool, to bring your family closer together.
Here is how this might go in a family with three young children…
In the fall, your daughter could participate in soccer. The whole family could band together, go to all her games, and cheer her on as a group.
The siblings could spend the afternoon painting special signs with her soccer number on it.
They could wear decorated shirts with her team colors to all of her games.
Utilize organized sports as an opportunity for your other children to practice celebrating their sister.
Instead of handing your kids a device to keep them busy on the way to your daughter’s soccer games, encourage family conversation, pray over your daughter, and turn on a communal audiobook that the kids can laugh and bond over together. Discuss who on the team could use a friend and encourage your daughter to show kindness to that child.
Then, in the spring, don’t sign anybody up for any extracurricular activities. Take a break.
There is no rush to put every sibling in an extracurricular activity every season.
Use the spring to focus on family time at home.
Eat dinner around the table every evening without screens, talk about your day, read books together, and take leisurely walks afterward.
Instead of running around to the latest activity, invite others into your home for screen free hospitality.
Perhaps you and your children made connections on the soccer field. Invite some of those families into your actual life.
Get to know one another over a simple meal or Make-Your-Own Sundae bar.
After dinner, organize a simple game of backyard soccer just for fun. No pressure. No need to keep score.
In the summer, your next child in line could do a short summer karate program.
Take all your kids to watch him from the glass window.
Let your son teach the family his new moves in the evenings after class.
Encourage the siblings to take an interest in the new things their brother is learning. Have the kids help him practice his skills at home.
When karate ends, you could let your next child try a year of music lessons.
If your child’s interest in the instrument truly develops, they could build onto their skills at home through books, independent practice, or instructional videos that don’t take you out of the home.
Then, take another seasonal break from kid’s extracurricular activities.
Have your children teach one another the skills they learned in organized programming.
Buy a goalie and let the kids play soccer at home. Have a Saturday evening sparring match for your son to show off his karate moves. As a family, write lyrics to a song your musical child makes up on his guitar.
Use Extracurricular Activities for Kids for Good
There is nothing inherently wrong with children’s programming. Problems occur when we overschedule our families and allow things to get out of balance in our lives.
This is really easy to do with extracurricular activities for kids. The programs look attractive, all our friends seem to be enrolling, and we fear that our kids will miss out on something if they are not a part of everything.
However, when we sacrifice the most important things for the myriad of “good” things we could be doing, our families will suffer.
Extracurricular activities can be used for good.
Rather than allowing them to pull your family apart, think of ways that they can bring you closer together.
Some parents love sports. They grew up doing sports and they desire to pass on their positive experience to their children.
If that is your unique family culture, that’s awesome! Extracurricular activities for kids might have a very special place in your life.
You can be the mom who coaches your daughter’s soccer team, provides water bottles and popsicles at break time, or invites families over from s’mores to celebrate a good game.
If you are passionate about a certain pastime, pass that on to your child. Your excitement may inspire them. You can help them sharpen their skills along the way.
Back in the day, cultures were built on parents and grandparents passing their skills down the line to the next generation.
If you are a musician, teach your kids an instrument. Start a family band. Write songs together. Use those skills to serve by visiting a local nursing home and putting on an informal show for the elderly.
If you are artistic, paint with your children. Send beautiful handmade watercolor cards to friends and family.
If you like hiking, equip your kids with outdoorsy skills and take them to scenic new places to explore. See if there is a child in your community you could include who spends a lot of time on screens.
If you played football in college, teach your sons how to play the game. Invite the neighbors to join you on occasion. Simply enjoy the sport as a family.
Also, some families have more time together than others. Extracurricular activities for kids might make more sense for a homeschool family who spends eight hours a day together than it would for a family who utilizes the public or private school model.
Simplify Extracurricular Activities for Kids
One way you can simplify activities for kids is by simply teaching your children the skills you possess at home without enrolling them in lessons or on an organized team while they are in the little years.
Your kids can play sports, learn to draw, and become proficient in an instrument at home if you have the ability to teach them.
Consider the fact that your kids can play group sports without being on an organized league.
Second hand sports equipment is very inexpensive at thrift stores and flea markets.
Grab some balls, put up a basketball hoop, and invite the neighborhood kids over to play.
Ask yourself what the end goal of extracurricular activities is for your family?
If you simply want your kids to exercise, stay busy, and have an enjoyable experience, this can be achieved at home without the large time and financial commitment extracurriculars often require.
Play sports as a family and invite friends over to join.
Another option is to sign up for activities that your family can do altogether.
Perhaps you could register for a family taekwondo class or your kids could take swimming lessons at the same time.
How many extracurricular activities should a child do?
One extracurricular per child per year starting when they are around age 7 or older and they truly begin to show an interest in a certain activity is a balanced place to begin.
Extracurricular activities for kids are not a bad thing in. Children’s programming can be an excellent alternative to screen time.
There are plenty of good things to be gained through team sports, instrument lessons, and other children’s programming.
Children learn patience through practice. They develop social and emotional skills when required to interact with peers on a team. Kids build endurance through exercise.
Extracurriculars can be a great option for many families.
However, the problem is that our society has begun to view these as a necessity rather than an option.
Children do not need to do any extracurricular activities in the younger years. You can provide your child with the same benefits they would get in organized programing through simple means at home.
Kids can get plenty of socialization through play with siblings and playdates with peers.
Children can get all the exercise they need through frequent free play in nature and family walks.
Kids can learn the character development that team sports offer through intentional family discipleship and great stories that demonstrate people with integrity.
Is it bad to have too many extracurriculars?
Yes. Too many extracurriculars put a strain on children and parents. When all the kids in the family are involved in activities multiple evenings each week, some of the most important things take a backseat, such as family dinners, free play, quality time, and rest.
How many extracurriculars is too much for kids?
Extracurricular activities for kids become too much when your child is tired, overscheduled, and disconnected from their family.
If kid’s programming is preventing you from sharing family meals, having meaningful conversations, or spending quality time with your children, consider taking a break for a season.
Depending on the age and stage of your child, one extracurricular activity per school year may be a good balance if it is a program that meets no more than once a week.
If you are finding that your family is burnt out and turning to screen time to relax after overscheduled weeks full of extracurriculars, consider taking a seasonal break.
The Problem With Extracurricular Activities for Kids
There are few easier ways to become an overwhelmed mother than to forsake family time at home for frequent time in the car driving to and from all the must-do activities.
Lots of parents today are splitting time chauffeuring their kids to separate games and practices, hitting the drive through for fast food on the way home, and then retreating with their own devices to unwind after an unnecessarily long day.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
It seems to me that people today have forgotten how to just be together. We’re either ignoring each other while we stare at devices. Or we’re running all over creation to make sure our kids aren’t “missing out” on any opportunities.
Meanwhile they are missing out on quality family time and the slow paced reality of life.
If you are feeling overwhelmed as a mom, consider drastically reducing extracurricular activities.
Feel full permission to skip organized kid’s programming altogether
Another option is to ask a grandparent if they would be willing to take your older kids to their favorite program while you catch up on housework, rest, and pour into your little ones.
Is it OK to not do extracurricular activities?
Absolutely!
There is a time and a place for extracurriculars.
View them as a tool, not a requirement.
Teach your kids a very valuable lesson that they will learn either in your home or on their own when they get out into the world—the world does not revolve around them.
Not every child has to be separately shuffled to their own extracurricular activity multiple evenings per week while their little sibling stares at a smartphone to pass the time and their overwhelmed mom crumbles under the pressure in the front seat.
If extracurricular activities have left you feeling overscheduled and overwhelmed, pump the breaks on all unnecessary commitments for a while. Your kids will be just fine!
What age should kids start extracurriculars?
A healthy age for kids to start extracurriculars is 7 to 10 years old if there is margin in your family schedule for it and your child has begun to show a true interest in learning something specific.
How We Do Extracurriculars To Avoid An Overscheduled Life
My husband and I choose our commitments very carefully. If we feel that a certain program will benefit one of our children without harming our family, we consider it.
For the most part, we say no to continual extracurricular activities for kids in this season of life, but we keep an open mind and enroll our kids in things on occasion when we believe it will add some sort of value to our life.
If an activity stops adding to our family and starts draining us, we cease our commitment to that program without hesitation.
When our oldest daughter was two, we enrolled her in a ballet class. In retrospect, I wouldn’t do this again. She was far too young developmentally to get anything out of that class. For the most part, she didn’t participate.
But my husband and I were tired new parents who desired to give our toddler something fun to do after her new sibling was born.
My parents graciously took her to dance every Saturday morning and then to a special chocolate chip pancake breakfast while my husband and I enjoyed the short postpartum season with her baby brother.
We didn’t view that dance class as a lifelong commitment.
Our goal was not to place our daughter on the track to become a professional ballerina.
Although the dance class didn’t amount to a whole lot, the breakfast date with Mom Mom and Pop Pop went a long way to fill our little girl’s love tank.
The old pictures of our daughter eating pancakes in her tutu with her grandparents are some of her favorites.
She made memories with them, got her wiggles out, and came home ready to tell us all about it.
My husband and I didn’t continue the dance lessons after that year and we didn’t sign any of our subsequent children up for any organized programming at such a young age either.
As a general rule, we limit extracurricular activities for our family.
We use them as a tool when we believe they will provide some sort of benefit to our life.
At that time, dance and pancakes gave us a Saturday morning break. It gave our daughter an outlet, but we knew it was only meant to be for a very short season of time.
Over the years, we have signed up for short spurts of kid’s programming from time to time to connect with friends, but we haven’t committed to many lengthy extracurricular activities.
We also have never allowed more than one child to be enrolled in a separate activity at one time.
Once, we found a gymnastics class our kids could do together as a group of siblings and it seemed like a good fit. But in the end, we felt overscheduled and our kids had more fun doing free play in the backyard than they did tumbling around a gym for 45 minutes.
We realized we had registered for the activity because it felt like something we “should” do, not because it was actually something our kids needed in order to thrive.
I find that if I overschedule my family, I become overwhelmed with motherhood.
Whenever we are out of our house often to do “extra” things, the basic things tend to fall by the wayside. I get behind, feel discouraged, and overwhelmed becomes my middle name.
Parenting doesn’t have to be like this!
There is freedom in motherhood. Just because every other mom appears to be out on the ball field with their toddler, doesn’t mean that you have to sign yours up for little league.
Just because Susy up the street is on competitive dance and gymnastics teams, doesn’t mean that your daughter needs to do the same.
Most kid’s programming doesn’t amount to a whole lot after graduation.
Sure, some kids who spend their lives playing baseball go on to become pro athletes or high school coaches, but the vast majority do not.
Use extracurriculars in moderation and as a tool when they add value to your family and feel no shame in skipping them when they do not.
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